The Power of Not Knowing: Learning to Live in the Questions
- Todd Rowley
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
We spend so much of life chasing answers. We want to know what’s next, how things will turn out, and whether we’re on the “right” path. We fill silence with noise and uncertainty with busyness, hoping that if we keep moving, clarity will eventually catch up.
But what if the secret to peace and discovery isn’t in knowing more? What if it's in being comfortable with not knowing at all?
The Discomfort of Uncertainty
There’s something deeply human about wanting to know. It gives us a sense of control in a world that often feels unpredictable. We want plans, maps, and guarantees. We want to tie life up in tidy explanations because the unknown can feel like chaos — like standing at the airport departure doors of a new city, unsure what waits outside.
Yet, life doesn’t offer many guarantees. Plans change. People surprise us. Circumstances twist unexpectedly. The road that looked clear one moment can vanish into fog the next. And while our instinct is to panic, rush to solve, or fill in the blanks, it’s often in those uncertain spaces where the most meaningful growth begins.
Not knowing is uncomfortable because it humbles us. It strips away the illusion that we’re in control. But it also creates space for curiosity, creativity, and wonder. When we release the pressure to have every answer, we make room for something deeper to unfold.
The Beauty of the Question
Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote in Letters to a Young Poet:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.”
There’s a quiet wisdom in that line. To love the questions means to stop seeing them as obstacles to be conquered and start seeing them as invitations to explore, to grow, to see differently.
Questions are alive. Answers tend to close things down, but questions open them up. They spark curiosity, reflection, and possibility. “Why am I here?” “What truly matters to me?” “What would happen if I slowed down?” These aren’t puzzles to solve, but rather doors to walk through, each leading to a new layer of awareness.
When you live in the questions, you begin to notice life differently. Small things start to glow with significance — a conversation, a sunrise, a change of season. You begin to see that knowing isn’t always the goal. Sometimes, the act of wondering itself is enough.
Curiosity as a Compass
Curiosity thrives in the unknown. It’s the spark that drives explorers across oceans and artists into new forms of expression. It’s what makes children endlessly fascinated with the world around them.
As adults, we often trade that curiosity for certainty. We become experts, professionals, people who “know.” And yet, when we cling too tightly to what we know, we close ourselves off to what we could discover.
Curiosity doesn’t demand answers, instead, it delights in the process. It’s a posture of openness, a willingness to explore without needing everything to make sense. When we lead with curiosity, the unknown shifts from something to fear into something to embrace.
If you’ve ever found yourself staring up at a night sky, wondering what’s out there, you’ve touched this feeling. It’s a sense of awe mixed with humility. It's the recognition that there’s more to life than we can possibly grasp, and that’s okay.
Learning to Pause Before the Answer
In a world built on instant information, waiting in uncertainty can feel countercultural. We Google everything, expecting a clear, concise answer within seconds. But not every question can be solved by a search bar.
The questions that shape our lives — about purpose, belonging, identity, love — take time. They need reflection, silence, and space. They evolve as we do.
Learning to pause before jumping to conclusions helps us see more deeply. It allows our experiences to breathe. When we resist the urge to define something too quickly, we give it room to reveal its truth over time.
Maybe that’s what wisdom really is — the ability to live peacefully in the unfolding.
The Illusion of Certainty
We often believe that certainty equals safety. If we can just figure it all out — our career path, relationships, health, or finances — we’ll finally feel secure. But life keeps reminding us that certainty is an illusion. The unexpected happens. The ground shifts.
When certainty disappears, it’s tempting to see that as failure — as though not knowing means we’re lost or behind. But what if it’s the opposite? What if uncertainty means we’re finally paying attention?
The truth is, we grow most in the in-between spaces — the moments when life isn’t fully defined. These are the places where resilience, faith, and clarity are born.
Practicing “not knowing”
Living in the questions isn’t a passive act. It’s a practice — one that can be cultivated intentionally. Here are a few small ways to begin:
1. Journal without seeking closure.Write your questions down, not your answers. Instead of trying to fix or define your thoughts, simply explore them. Let your journal be a space for curiosity, not conclusion.
(Affiliate suggestion: Consider a beautifully simple journal like the Leuchtturm1917 Medium Hardcover Notebook — perfect for capturing your questions and reflections.)
2. Sit in silence.Stillness has a way of revealing what busyness hides. Spend a few quiet moments each day just breathing, without the need to figure anything out. Listen for what rises in the silence.
3. Ask open-ended questions.Instead of “What’s wrong?” try “What’s this trying to teach me?” Shift from judgment to curiosity. It’s a small change that can transform how you experience challenges.
4. Read widely.Expose yourself to ideas that stretch you. Read about philosophy, art, spirituality, or science. Let your perspective expand through others’ questions.
(Affiliate suggestion: A wonderful book for this mindset is The Book of Delights by Ross Gay — a reminder of how curiosity and wonder can reshape daily life.)
5. Trust the unfolding.There’s a rhythm to life that doesn’t always reveal itself on our timeline. The more we learn to trust that things are still moving, even when we can’t see how, the more peace we find in uncertainty.
When life doesn’t give you an answer
There will be seasons where the question lingers longer than feels comfortable. The job opportunity that doesn’t come through. The relationship that leaves you wondering “why.” The dream that changes shape before you can understand it.
In those moments, it helps to remember that not every question has a tidy answer — and that’s okay. Some questions are meant to be lived, not solved.
Maybe clarity doesn’t always arrive as a lightning bolt. Maybe it shows up quietly, over time, through experience and grace. Maybe the real wisdom lies not in the answer, but in who we become while waiting for it.
The power of wonder
When we accept not knowing, we rediscover wonder — that childlike sense of awe that sees the world as full of mystery. Wonder transforms ordinary moments into sacred ones. It slows us down, softens our edges, and reminds us that we don’t have to hold the universe together with our understanding.
To live with wonder is to recognize that life is bigger than us. It’s to find peace in mystery, joy in discovery, and strength in humility. It’s to see that maybe we were never meant to have it all figured out.
Finding simplicity in the unknown
Simplicity and uncertainty might seem like opposites, but they share a deep connection. Both ask us to let go — of clutter, of control, of the need to know. Both invite us to live lightly, to hold life with open hands instead of tight fists.
When we stop demanding that life make sense, simplicity finds us. The noise fades. What truly matters becomes clear. The world feels wider and yet somehow more peaceful.
We start to see that not knowing isn’t a problem to solve, but a path to walk — one that leads us deeper into gratitude, faith, and meaning.
Living curiously
The power of not knowing lies in its invitation to stay curious. To wake each day not with the pressure of having everything figured out, but with the joy of discovery. To see questions not as gaps, but as gifts.
We don’t need to have the answers to live fully. We just need the courage to keep asking, the patience to keep listening, and the humility to stay open.
Because maybe the real beauty of life isn’t in knowing where it’s all going, but in learning to live fully, right here in the question.
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